I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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