i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
