they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
