im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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