Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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