Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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