I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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