She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
