yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
