I don't think brook has ever known best
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
