my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
