Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
