I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize