I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
