Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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