I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
