apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
