Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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