your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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