I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
