I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm like, not good at living.
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