pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
