eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
