Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
