Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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