Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
