She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it glows. i had to have it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
