My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
