i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
