we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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