Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
