Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
