Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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