you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
