do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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