I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
