It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
home. puking in laundry basket.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
