i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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