I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
