once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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