How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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