If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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