is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
