Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
