Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
