There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
