that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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