Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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