I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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