Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
