i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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