Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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