you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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