I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
